A letter mailed a bit too late.

 

Dear who the hell ever,

Most of the human race fears loss, some more than most, some not at all, but most of us are affected by it. The last thing anyone wants, is for a person whom they care about deeply to look at them with disgust and disappointment. Unfortunately, this will happen no matter how much you fear it, run from it, ignore it or how much you plan to avoid it. The truth is that you can’t engineer happiness, and there is no way to gain the mythical perfect love. Love is, and will always be, imperfect, fighting this will only lead to more frustration and unhappiness. 

It is okay to admit that the euphoric picture of perfection is a complete falsehood. Why be perfect anyway? If you are searching for a quick fix to a relationship or a family bond, get over it, it must run its natural course. Even the greatest of manipulators will one day face the rejection of those around them, and while we are all unique in our own way, not one of us are special enough to avoid reality. 

All relationships that you encounter will have a public and private view. That’s a no shit dumb ass, right? Right! Or, maybe not a no shit? Raise your hand if you ever ignored the bullshit to tell yourself everything was okay. As much as I advocate for equality, justice and peace, as much as I scream about fighting against bigots and hate mongers, I realize that I can’t stand people sometimes. I am sure many of you have felt that way, and if you’re saying not me, you’re probably lying to yourself. 

So, when that disgust and disappointment is directed at you by those you love, what do you do? Tell them to shove their daggers of feelings up their own ass? Cower and cry in a crumpled ball and wish it didn’t hurt so badly? Maybe, apologize? Return the favor? Give up, or maybe all the above? All of these I can say I have done, and I am sure you have done all or a few of these as well. Really, the only thing that really works is talking about it. How it works out after that depends on the interaction, personalities and bond of those involved. 

We have all heard it said before “people don’t change” but we all have to realize that is our crutch, our cop-out when things have changed for us, and it is insensitive to think otherwise. We all change. Change is why people grow apart. Change is why people stay together. Without the things about you changing, you wouldn’t notice anything is different. We just have to admit it to ourselves, and not drag on an increasingly hurtful situation. Once you do that, well, isn’t it easier to walk away or forgive. Ha, yeah right, if that was the case the world would run much smoother and shit would get done. 

So, at what point do we just throw our hands in the air and say fuck it all? Seriously, the resentment, the negativity, is it worth it? I like to think it is. Life isn’t going to give you your perfect life, even the most powerful and rich find shit to be pissed off about. Hell, we all find shit to be pissed about for no reason. I swear, sometimes the relationships I have are like I’m trying to run windows on an ATARI, no compute it do not, err….! It’s like Blip, Blip, Blip—Blooooooom….. and then I’m like ?WTF?, what in the hell just happened? 

As, we bash our heads upon this wall, we just need to keep telling ourselves that people are assholes sometimes, and give the person a chance. It’s the assholes that are assholes all the time and are assholes on purpose, that need to be disposed of, but you figured that out didn’t you. Always on the pulse of the Peoples hearts, my good reader, yes you are!

Anyway, what the hell was I saying? Oh, yes. So, in the end I say speak your mind, tell the truth, and don’t take shit if there’s an asshole in your life. But, don’t take my word for it, look in the mirror and your own circle of connections and decide for yourself.

Ever yours,

Warren Curtis 

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